The day before one of the biggest matches of your life doesn't seem like the best time to start committing yourself to another club, does it?

But that's exactly what Spanish sports daily Marca, which is to all intents and purposes the Real Madrid equivalent of Pravda, is claiming Cristiano Ronaldo has done on the eve of the Champions League final in Moscow, saying that he has verbally agreed to join Los Merengues.

The front page of his morning's edition of the Iberian rag has a picture of the Portuguese flashing his pearly-whites and the huge headline "Si quiero", or "Yes I do".

However, underneath it states that Manchester United have responded "No quiero", which roughly translates as "Not on your Nelly".

Of course, compared to tonight's showdown the rest of football pales into insignificance, but let's at least feign interest in some other rumours that may actually have a grain of truth to them.

For starters, Rafael Benitez has already begun his quest to finally turn Liverpool into title-contenders by signing a full-back, and now he is set to make them a genuine force by bringing in a new reserve goalkeeper.

It seems that Bordeaux keeper Ulrich Rame, who is 36, could sign on a two-year deal, with current understudy Charles Itandje going the other way. Which all begs the question; why did Rafa ever get rid of Jerzy Dudek?

Another bit of Anfield-related guff is that apparently right-back Steve Finnan, who has been a consistent high-performer since joining Liverpool from Fulham for £6 million five years ago, will to return to his former club for a third of that price this summer.

It looks very much as though Steve Sidwell is going to be an Aston Villa player by the end of the week, Villa having beaten Newcastle and Sunderland to his signature. Villa will sign the Chelsea midfielder - who has as much chance of appearing in a Champions League final now as he did when he was at Reading - for £5 million and half his alleged current £65,000-a-week wage.

As much as Tottenham Hotspur like to splash the cash these days, even they have baulked at the £33 million fee and £100k-a-week wage demands that would facilitate their purchase of Samuel Eto'o . As such, boss Juande Ramos's next target is Argentinian Diego Milito , who is looking for a route out of relegated Real Zaragoza and sharpish.

If Spurs can't get their South American forward fix that way, then they'll turn their attention to Marcelo Moreno of Cruzeiro , who has been making overtures about coming to England.

However, the Bolivian is no mug, and ruled out a move to the Riverside by saying: "Of course I would love to come to England, but I would have to like the place where I would be."

In more Spurs-related news, the north London side are looking a gift horse - in the shape of Portsmouth - right in the mouth over their interest in Younes Kaboul. Tottenham only bought the 'defender' last summer for £7.5 million, but are now demanding £8 million from a side that starts with Sol Campbell and Sylvain Distin at the back.

To end this little N17-related run, former Spurs midfielder and poster boy for glaucoma sufferers everywhere Edgar Davids is looking for a new club after turning down a new deal at Ajax.

It seems Everton didn't change up enough roubles at the Post Office before setting off to buy Brazilian striker Jo from CSKA Moscow, who is on the market for £18 million. Rather than return empty-handed, they'll come back with a Kremlin snow globe and playmaker Dudu for a total of £8,000,003.50.

In quite possibly the laziest example of player scouting ever, Manchester City have identified Russian striker Andrei Arshavin as a transfer target, after he starred in the UEFA Cup final at the City of Manchester Stadium last week.

And finally, in the football equivalent of being the prize in a mud-wrestling match between Ann Widdecombe and Vanessa Feltz, Middlesbrough and Bolton Wanderers will duke it out for the signature of Sporting Lisbon midfielder Simon Vukcevic.

Tony Mabert / Eurosport